My Hero
by Marselena
Summary: Set 2 months from the ending of the movie, life is moving forward for the couple and their newfound affections. But between a relationship shifting request from Roxanne and the arrival of a very strange man in Metro City, Megamind feels like his life is about to be turned upside down. Again.
1. Chapter 1: My hero

_ The fuck am I doing?_

_I thought I was done with this fanfiction shit._

_Thought it was a fad I'd get over with once I reached my 20s._

_Thought having crushes on cartoon characters and relating to them better than human beings was far past my time._

_But as a great mind once said, "apparently NOT!"_

_Enjoy my strange creation, as my recent obsession with these characters, and this movie, and this fanbase, have both defeated my sanity and restored it._

_And don't feel ashamed for enjoying what you enjoy. I've had to get over that recently. It's a difficult process. _

_Feedback, as usual, is appreciated. I have already begun work on chapter 2 but I'm willing to take suggestions._

_-Marie_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**My Hero**

_**"There goes my hero**_  
_**Watch him as he goes**_  
_**There goes my hero**_  
_**He's ordinary."**_

It was dark at the dollar store.

Well, not dark _at it, _but outside of it, of course.

_My Hero _by the Foo Fighters was humming lazily through the speakers overhead. Just enough stimulation to encourage any late night shoppers to keep shopping. The only light coming through the windows being a streetlight placed just outside the door, beckoning the occasional drunken bastard to come on in for a pack of chips and cigs, only to discover they _do not sell cigs at this dollar store, _and then to run off screaming something about capitalism and "the man keeping him down" only to walk out the door without paying for his chips.

The minimum wage workers who typically encountered these late night events, Sue and Toby, couldn't care less. This happened nightly.

What typically did not happen, though, and thankfully so, were robberies.

The short haired redhead Sue was particularly nervous during the night-shift, when all was quiet, motionless, still and, honestly, _creepy._

She feared that at any time, Toby could be away stocking shelves, and she'd be in front of the glass doors alone, and some stranger with a bag in one hand and a gun in the other would come up to her and threaten her life.

It didn't happen quite like that when her heart jumped at the sight of a man running through the doors, ski mask donned and black gun waved in her face.

Because there wasn't one man.

There were two.

"Tob-!" She went to scream her partner's name, but one of the men shoved a gloved hand to her mouth before she could let out more than a warning cry.

"I want the money, not your life. So open the goddamned register."

She shook her head and shakily opened the register, revealing no more than $200 in crumpled up paper cash. She could barely even grab it, her nerves wrecked to hell.

Just when she was about to shove as much as she could into the bag, the door burst open again, this time being flung so hard it crashed against the side of the window and shattered.

The noise startled everyone, including the burglars, and in walked a familiar figure, a blue man with a big head, donning a black tuxedo and a small brass gun.

"Freeze, foul fiends!"

The two burglars looked to each other, not sure if they should be running or laughing.

"Wait, aren't you a supervillain?" One of them finally asked.

The alien walked closer to them, "Ah, that is where you're wrong, burglar. See, as you may have heard by now, I have reformed," he flashed a smile and reached out his arms slightly, striking a pose.

All was silent for a time, until he spoke again, "I mean really, it's all over the news like, every day. I am _dating a reporter who talks about it every day,_ HOW are there still people who don't know that I'm the new defender of Metrocity?"

The burglar next to Sue shrugged. The blue man zapped him with the gun nonchalantly, a blue cube dropping to the ground in his place.

"Charles!"

"He'll be fine," he walked over to pick up the cube and tossed it to the worried friend, "just toss him in some water."

The burglar dropped to the floor and raised his hands in the air, "please man, don't shoot, I don't wanna die!"

"I just said your friend is fine, _goddamn__it__ does nobody listen to me?"_ He reached out and zapped the other man as well, a cowering figure poofing into a tiny cube.

Sue continued to shake. She pinched herself, then looked up at the alien beside her.

"You, you saved my life."

Megamind nodded his head, "cowards, they wouldn't have hurt you, trust me. That gun of theirs wasn't even real."

"How do you know?"

"Intuition. I am an evil mastermind after all," he chuckled, "_former, _evil mastermind. Regardless," he straightened up and checked his suit, "I have a date to get to."

He walked away much more casually than he had entered, making a note of the door on his way out, "don't worry about this, I'll have some little friends by to fix it in the morning."

And just like that, her blue savior was gone.

Just seconds later, Toby waddled out, three boxes stacked on top of each other being carried in his hands.

He set them down and looked at the glowing cubes on the floor, the shattered door, and money scattered all over the place.

"Did I miss something?"

Sue scowled, "well thank God it wasn't an _emergency, _Toby."

_The House _was an old fashioned bar with a nice wide stage. Live music played every night, from 8pm to 12am, and tonight was no exception.

Roxanne was sitting at a table, legs crossed as she waited impatiently for her date.

In the meantime, a scruffy older man was desperately attempting to gain her attention.

"You know, back in my day, every man had two women. He had his house ho, and he had his work ho. And sometimes, he even had a garden ho too!" The man burst out laughing at his own joke, slapping his leg so hard that if he weren't obviously drunk, he might have hurt himself.

"Fascinating banter, really, but if you don't mind-"

"Oh, and sometimes though, you know, the work ho _was _the house ho. Now that's called true love. Its also called working from home!" He slapped his leg again, laughing hysterically at himself. Roxanne had grown tired of this long ago, but she had a feeling that he wasn't going to leave her be no matter what she said.

Just when she was opening her mouth to make a smartass comment about the garden ho burying the husband, her hero walked in, dressed in black, his boots clicking as he walked towards her.

"Oh look, there's my boyfriend, you can go now."

The man turned to see him, and he coughed.

Nothing else. He didn't move out of the way or say a word. He just coughed, and looked back at Roxanne, "so about the work ho,"

"Excuse me, good sir, but I do believe this is my seat." Megamind placed a hand on the man's shoulder, gesturing for him to stop leaning on the chair and more importantly to _kindly go the fuck away._

The two men had a staring contest for a moment, and Roxanne piped up.

"Um, Megamind, this man has been irritating me all night."

His eyebrow raised, "Oh really?"

"And making sexist remarks."

"_Sexist remarks, _sir, is that any way to treat a lady?"

The man put up his hands "I-I was just trying to make friendly conversation is all!"

Megamind put one foot up on the chair and glared down at the man, pointing to him as he raised his voice, "let the record show that THIS MAN thinks _friendly conversation _means to make sexist remarks at women!"

The man blushed and trotted away, nearly everyone taking a glance at the scene that just transpired.

Megamind sat down and rested his chin upon his intertwined fingers, "public humility, works every time."

"That was surprisingly sexy, Megs." Roxanne took a sip of her wine and reached out for his hand.

He smirked, "oh Roxanne,_ everything _I do is surprisingly sexy."

To an extent, she would agree with that statement. Especially as of late, just as her newfound relationship with the _real _version of him was beginning to take hold.

"Two months, you know. We've been dating two months already," she remarked.

"Yeah, a lot can happen in two months."

"A lot _has _happened, but, I was wondering about something," her face began to blush as she thought about what she was about to ask him.

"Yes my love?"

"Um, Megamind, I, I wanted to know if we could-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A voice broke over the speakers and the couple's eyes shot towards the front of the bar. A short, tubby man with a big black mustache was holding a microphone and gesturing someone up onto the stage.

"Please welcome to _The House, _Angel Mann!" He passed the mic over to a tall, slender figure, with skin like shining porcelain, long bleach blonde hair that led down to a neatly trimmed beard that touched the tips of his bright pink round rim sunglasses. All wrapped up in a bright white suit, a guitar hanging from his neck as he spoke through the speakers with a gentle tone.

"Thank you for having me tonight, Metrocity."

Roxanne tilted her head. Did he just pronounce it "_Metrahcity?" _The way Megamind does?

Without another word, Angel beckoned his band to begin playing, and _Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting _rang through the sound system.

It was far too loud for Roxanne to continue saying what she was going to say, but she insisted on trying nevertheless.

She bent forward over the table and tried to get her boyfriend's attention, but he was fixated on the music.

She tapped his shoulder, finally causing his face to snap towards hers, and guided him to lean an ear in to hear her.

"I wanted to ask if-"

"What?!"

Roxanne groaned in frustration, "I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT!"

"Oh, can it wait?"

She leaned back and tilted her head, giving him a pouting look.

He lifted his eyebrows and nodded towards the band before mouthing, "Want to dance?"

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his outstretched hand as he lead her to the dance floor.

Music always moved through his soul, like a cleansing breeze or a nice warm bath. Especially rock, rock always helped him think, helped him clear his head.

And he loved to dance, especially with Roxanne by his side.

As the song pulled to a close, Angel shifted the tone.

"_Yeah, you really got me now, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing."_

Megamind looked up and locked eyes with Angel, giving him an approving thumbs up before he continued to dance. Angel apparently took his gesture differently.

The man in white stepped down, no longer strumming his guitar, letting his backup guitarist take over as he kept singing and walked closer to the blue man in black.

Singing louder, Megamind jumped back, realizing just how close Angel had gotten to him.

"_Boy, you really got me now,"_

"Wait, _what?" _Roxanne stepped away, shocked by what was happening. Angel walked right in front of her, as if she was a ghost.

Megamind, however, was highly intrigued by Angel circling him like a hawk, though he couldn't help but look quizzically at the situation and think "what the hell is happening?"

Angel took a step back, smiled at the blue man, and finished his song with a long, stretched out strum to his guitar as he dropped the mic to the ground, all the while keeping his eyes focused on the blue alien before ending to a bar-wide applause and walking back up to his stage.

Roxanne walked back over, arms crossed and lip bitten.

"What the _fuck _was that?" She scowled at Angel, then looked back to her boyfriend.

"That was, a serenade, right?"

"But why was he serenading_ you?"_

Megs took a step back and crossed his arms in return, "maybe he thinks I'm attractive?"

"_I _was dancing with you, it's not like you were alone. I was just pushed aside like, like he didn't even see me."

"I mean, maybe he didn't."

"_Why _are you _defending _him?!"

"I'm not, I'm just-" he shook his head and smiled, "it was really nothing. It was kind of nice, honestly, having that kind of attention."

Roxanne was even more frustrated now, all sorts of frustrated. And most all of it had to do with him.

"I still need to ask you that quest-"

A loud strumming was heard through the speakers, the beginning of yet another song. Roxanne stomped her foot in anger.

"Ugh!"

Megs took her hand and caressed it softly, "hey, do you want to talk outside for a bit?"

She sighed in relief, "yes, please."

The couple escorted themselves out, and suddenly the ruckus of Angel's band quieted to a muffle behind the wooden doors.

Megs placed a hand on Roxanne's shoulder, feeling how relieved she was to just be alone with him.

"Speak, temptress."

She laughed, "well, we've been dating a few months now, and, I want to take things to the next level."

Megs took a step back, "well," he began, rubbing the back of his head as his other hand rested on his hip, "uh, I mean, I thought this was a good pace we were taking."

"It is, I just, want to kick up the speed a bit. You know, most human couples move forward much faster."

Megamind blushed, "I, I don't want you to assume I don't like you, Roxanne but, this is a big step."

She raised an eyebrow, "I mean, if it's different in your culture I totally understand. We can wait as long as you want-"

"I mean, all this, me being hero stuff, when would we even find the time to put this together?"

Roxanne began to wonder if they weren't thinking of the same things, "huh?"

"It would have to be big, you know. The city would expect that. It would probably have to be broadcast all over the place."

They were definitely not thinking about the same thing.

"Megamind, what are you-"

"At the same time, to have you rule together with me as my Queen," he grabbed her hip and pulled her close, "is quite a nice thought. Alright, Roxanne, I'll do it."

"Do, what?"

"I'll marry you."

Roxanne turned red with laughter, her hand pushing into his chest.

"What's so funny? Why are you laughing, you brought it up!"

"I wasn't talking about getting married, babe," her palm shifted, and she placed a single finger upon his chest before whispering into his ear, "I was talking about sex."

He turned a pinkish purple, his green eyes went wide and his grip on her tightened, "you-me, with me?"

"No, with the mailman."

"Oh."

"Of course with you!" She grabbed his face and turned it towards her, "I was nervous about asking you but, it just didn't seem like we were heading in that direction anytime soon."

"I mean, I didn't think you'd even want to, not with me. Maybe with the mailman."

"Megamind, focus. I want to. With you. I don't know what to expect, I doubt your genitalia is human, if you even have any, but-"

He turned around at her, shocked, "wha- of _course _I have genitalia, I had _PARENTS!"_

He looked up and caught sight of a couple of women who where just passing by when he happened to shout "OF COURSE I HAVE GENITALIA!"

"You know, if you're a little louder, you could let the entire city know we're talking about sex."

"Roxanne, I- I am honestly more taken back by this than the marriage thing. I mean, marriage is such a wholesome thing, but, I've only seen sex in TV shows, and it looks so, weird. I have a very limited understanding of how I would even perform."

"You've never had sex?"

"Well what do _you _think? Look at me!"

She rubbed her arm, "I mean, I'm surely not the only one who would take you to bed."

He blushed again, his voice now lower, more seductive "well, when do you plan on this taking place?"

She swooned, "I was hoping we could try tonight."

He took a minute to think, raised his chin up to the sky, and came back down to look at her. He closed his eyes and nodded matter-of-factly, "yes, that sounds doable."

Roxanne smiled, and leaned up to kiss him, then slapped his ass naughtily. He didn't take it the way she assumed he would, "what was _that_ for?!"

"You're going to be a naughty boy for me tonight, so you need to be punished."

"All have you know that I am _reformed, _Roxanne!"

He still wasn't getting it.


	2. Chapter 2: Roxanne

_I suppose I should give a fair warning at the beginning of this chapter, this one contains a lot of mature talk._

_You've been warned! - Marie_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Roxanne**

_**"I loved you since I knew you**_  
_**I wouldn't talk down to you**_  
_**I have to tell you just how I feel**_  
_**I won't share you with another boy"**_

They took to her apartment, kissing heavily on the way to the door. This was something he was experienced with, at least, with her. Kissing was nice, he enjoyed kissing, it was soft, and sweet, and for him it was entirely a show of emotion.

But he had no idea how he'd react to sex. He wasn't even sure if she would enjoy it, considering…

They broke apart so she could open the door, and she stepped inside, grabbing him by the sides and pulling him forwards before kicking the door shut.

He was about to say how sexy that was of her, but before he knew it, she had him on the couch, and was ripping off his clothes faster than he could react.

"Roxanne, stop!" he seemed annoyed, and she calmed down immediately.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "it's just all moving so fast, where is the _feeling? _I thought we were making love, not, tearing each other apart."

"I'll slow down, I just, really, really, _really _want this." She leaned up to his neck and placed a gentle kiss upon it, sending a visible shiver up his spine.

"That, whatever that was, keep doing it," he said heavily.

"Do you like it when I touch your neck?"

"Yes, it's quite goo- oh," he sucked in hard, she gently bit his neck and he felt something he really hadn't quite felt before.

She began to bite down harder, grazing and playing with his skin between her teeth. She pulled away and blushed when she looked down.

"Well, we know something is down there." She placed a hand over his crotch, and he tried not to jerk away out of surprise.

"I already told you I have genitalia, did you not bel-" without a second thought, she unzipped him and he flipped down onto the couch, legs over his head as she pulled off his pants.

"You could just ask me to undress, you know."

"This is more fun!"

"For who?!" He questioned as she struggled to pull off his skin tight dress pants. He wiggled around, slipping his fingers under the rim and helping to guide them down.

Finally, they were on the ground, taking his slip on boots with them, and Roxanne hovered over his bulge.

From the outside of his underwear, it seemed pretty standard. Like any other dick she had ever seen. She didn't feel too concerned about abnormalities, until she grabbed it.

"It's, bumpy?" Hardly a bad thing.

"If you're going to insult my body then-"

"I'm not insulting it, I haven't even seen it yet."

"And you won't." He pulled away, a smirk on his face as he pushed her down to the other side of the couch, his unbuttoned dress shirt opening on her like a tent while he pinned her arms down.

She was incredibly surprised by this.

"How-"

"I watch a lot of movies, Roxanne."

"But earlier you were acting so chaste."

"I needed to get into the mood." He leaned down and took her lips into his, needing his fill of emotion before trying to figure out what she'd want him to do next.

Maybe he should undress her? She liked undressing him, so…

He lifted her up slightly and reached for the zipper on her dress, tugging at it gently and feeling satisfied as it drifted down smoothly.

He tugged at the rim of her dress and pulled it up over her head, tossing it to the floor before taking a second to look at her.

She was beautiful.

And she was his.

And he still couldn't believe it.

He took her into his arms and she moaned with delight at his intense kisses. He needed the feeling for this to work, he need that deep, emotional connection to her before he could give himself to her like this.

Because once he did, it would change his life.

She was intently rubbing between his legs, trying to coax it out and into her hands. He reached down and stopped her.

He needed to tell her something important now.

"Yes?"

"I'm in love with you."

She pushed him away slightly, "what?"

"I love you, I have for a while now."

She had to take a moment to take that in, surely she loved him too, right?

After everything they had been through?

"Thank you," _thank you? That's all she could muster up, really?_

Megs looked confused, he was obviously expecting that she reciprocate. He couldn't have sex with her if she didn't, emotionally _or physically. _That much he was sure of.

"Um, do you, do you feel the same, Roxanne?"

She nodded, "yes, yes of course, now please fuck me."

"Woah," he sat back up as she tried pulling him in, "I can't become aroused unless we have a connection, Roxanne."

"Of course we have a connection, and you're hard, aren't you?"

"Not entirely," he began to turn away, feeling panicky at her avoidance. Didn't she love him back? He had been so sure, after everything they went through, after everything she had done to make him for once in _forever _feel loved.

"Look, the deep shit can wait a little longer, but, I want to fool around."

"I don't fool around. My species are highly dependent on an emotional connection in order to perform sexually. That much I know."

Roxanne was confused. It was obvious they had a connection, wasn't it? And she said she felt the same.  
"Megs, I-"

"I should leave." He began to button up his shirt once more, feeling hurt at Roxanne's inability to say out loud that she loved him.

"I have feelings for you, Megs I do, I just, I don't throw love around lightly."

"Lightly? You've been through more with me than you probably have with any past boyfriends!"

"That's not the point."

"Okay, well, you may assume I meant it lightly, and that's fine. But I did not. I do love you. With all my heart," he gave her a hurt look as he placed a hand to his chest, "and whatever is left of my soul."

Megs proceeded to put his pants back on, and he stood up, ready to leave a very shocked and expressionless Roxanne alone on the couch.

He placed a hand to her chin, and leaned down to kiss her softly.

"I _do _love you."

Her lips parted, and she wanted to say something back. But, she couldn't find the words. Why was it so hard to just tell him that she loved him?

"Please just stay, Megs. It's been so long since I've had any sort of intimacy, I just want that with you. Right now, and maybe it's because-"

He sat back down next to her, hoping to feel sincerity in her voice.

"It's because?"

"Maybe it's because I do love you." She had to force it. _God, why did she have to force it? _Surely he'll know.

He kissed her.

She kissed him back, but, it felt damp. Like an old towel being dropped into a garbage tin. _But why?_

She loved him, she knew she did!

But expressing it felt so hopeless.

He pulled away, "I should still get going, Roxanne. Minion will worry." An excuse, obviously. He could call him and tell him he'd be late, or coming home in the morning. It's not like they hadn't spent the night together before, either staying up watching movies, or that one time last month when Roxanne had a horrible hangover thanks to an "alcohol free" liquor alternative beverage Megs had come up with and needed a tester for.

He stayed with her all night, making sure she wasn't poisoned, then he nursed her hangover for two days.

Even though she felt like shit, having him not only be the sweetest he had ever been to her, but also waiting on her hand and foot was pretty nice.

"I am so sorry, Roxanne."

"It was supposed to be an alternative for people who can't drink alcohol."

"It was made from nutmeg! How the hell could _nutmeg _have this horrible of an effect on you! I'm such an idiot! I should have known!"

"I will be here as long as you need me to be, my love."

All quotes from those two awful, yet wonderful, days rang around in her mind.

She had a horrible idea.

"I have to go to the bathroom," she got up and ran, clenching her stomach and slamming the bathroom door. She made the most repulsive gagging noises that she could muster, anything to make him knock on the door out of concern.

"Roxanne? Are you alright?"

"I'm sick, it must be from the wine."

"You told me you only had two glasses."

Roxanne blushed, caught red handed? _No, she could surely weave in something __to make this work._

But, she had to wonder, should she even be trying to fool him? It felt so, evil.

_Then again if you considered how many times he kidnapped her, this really wasn't the worst she could pay him back with._

"It's affecting me more because, uh-" she searched her mind for words, "I haven't eaten much today!"

"Why haven't you eaten? Do you feel feverish?"

"Yes, yes, very much so."

"Oh. Do you want to be left alone?"

_What? No, she wanted him to break down the damn door and thrust her up against the sink!_

"No, please, can you just come in?"

He sighed, and slowly nudged the door open. She hadn't even bothered to fully close it.

She was sitting on the toilet lid in her underwear, arms crossed and eyes looking sad.

Megs tilted his head, "Roxanne, what's going on?"

"I should ask you the same, you were so eager to leave."

"I was feeling hurt. Inside. The assumption that you might not love me, it hurts."

"That's fair. I'm sorry. I do care about you, but I don't know why its so hard to tell you. I think its just, shitty past relationships coming up into the back of my head."

He sighed and dropped his shoulders before taking a step forward and holding her in his arms.

"No matter what happened in the past, the future can still be different."

"I know," she put her hands on his hips, "but its going to take time for me to fully open my heart again. But, in the meantime, I still do want to be with you."

Megs let out a deep breath, "I know very little about my people, my culture. But what I do know is that we were, faultingly monogamous. If and when we do make love, I will be bonded to you like a flower to the earth. So, I need to make sure that you're sure of me."

She shook her head, "maybe we should wait then." She understood, at least a little bit, what he was saying. Sex for him was not just a pleasurable experience, it probably meant more to him than even marriage did. Which is why he was so quick to assume the second level after kissing, petting, and making out would be _marriage _and not hot steamy sex.

He sighed again, "I suppose so."

"But," she began, "what about _other things?"_

He raised an eyebrow out of curiosity, "what other things?"

"Like, blowjobs, handjobs, oral, anal, toys."

"_W__hat?"_

"We don't have to have _intercourse _to have fun, right? Does your, bonding thing happen if I just give you an orgasm some other way?"

He thought about it for a moment, "I really can't say. I've never had one."

She donned a shocked expression, "you've never orgasmed? Even when you're alone?"

"How would I orgasm if I was alone?"

She chuckled, "by masturbating."

"Oh, I don't think my species does that," he frowned, "_did."_

"If I may ask, how do you know this much about pairbonding on your home planet?"

"Some of it I remember, some of it I learned from what Minion told me." He sighed and rested his chin on her head, "all I know is that when they got together, they were together for life. If one of them died, the other would too. Not out of suicide, or anything, they just would. They died together. If one got sick, the other got sick. And the bonding happened the moment they gave themselves to one another in a deep, sexual climax."

The room was quiet for a moment, and Roxanne had a thought.

"Well, what if you just don't come?"

"What's the fun in that? I want to, I just never have," he sighed again, holding her tighter, "and probably never will, unless you promise to love me until the end of time."

That was a little too much commitment for Roxanne to take in.

"Listen, I do love you, but, I don't think I'm ready for something that intense yet."

"Then we don't have sex."

She swung back her head in protest, "come _on, _you don't even want to _try _and finger me or something."

He bit his lip, "I do. But-"

"But?"

"But, what if you come, and, the bonding occurs?"

"I thought it was only if you come."

"I don't _know."_

"_Maybe _its only if we come _together, _which is kinda rare with humans. Very rare, actually. Because everyone is different."

"Listen, I think we should settle on waiting."

"_God, _this is like dating a mega Catholic or something, you're basically asking me to wait for marriage before you can give me an orgasm!"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know what you want from me, Roxanne. I'm willing to wait, why aren't you?"

"Because I want you _now_."

"Well, sex is obviously different for us. Humans do it for fun, but I evolved to do it for love, for connection."

A silence lingered in the air. The couple stood still, looking at each other with sadness, neither wanting to compromise.

"Maybe, you should go."

"Maybe I should."

He leaned down to kiss her again, and she placed a hand softly to his chest. Before she knew it, he was gone, nothing but empty space occupying the void he left behind.

Her eyes were closed, and she rubbed at them to keep the tears at bay.

She loved him, and she was sure that he was the one for her. She had known him all this time, and surely that counted for her feelings being strong.

But to commit to something so lifelong, even if it was just an intense feeling on his side? It sounded so permanent, so scary and intense. She didn't feel ready at all. She wasn't sure if she ever would be.

She got up from the seat and walked into her bedroom, only to yelp in shock once she turned on the light.

There he was, sitting seductively on the bed, holding her vibrator.

"I'm no Casanova, but I'm pretty sure I know what this is, Roxanne." He flicked it on, and the humming buzz lit up the room with a sensual sound.

He did know what it was. He knew humans used it to pleasure themselves, to make them _come, climax, orgasm._

He just had no fucking idea of _how._

Regardless of his admittedly sexy tease, Roxanne rolled her eyes, "most women have one, why are you still here? Why are you going through my things?"

"Well, you're right about one thing. It makes no sense to assume that _I_ can't give _you _an orgasm."

She smiled excitedly and hurried to the bed, tackling him in a kiss before forcing him down onto the bed and waiting for him to figure out her anatomy.

He held the vibrator almost triumphantly to the side, smiling at the prospect of making her climax without what she seemed to assume were _negative consequences. _Yes, all he had to do was make her beg for his touch, and she'd fall totally in love with him, and accept the terms of sleeping with him, and they'd live happily ever after. Wouldn't they?

He soon realized he had no idea what to do with the vibrator.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Honestly, writing this has been much harder than I thought it would be. The last time I sat down with full intent to flesh out and finish a story was in August of 2016, resulted in my first and last published novel, and I have been entirely unable to pick up a story for more than an hour ever since.**

**I've tried, lord knows I've tried. I even attempted writing an AHS fanfic a few months ago. I lost interest entirely before long.**

**But with my recent obsession with Megamind, and no real way of expressing that obsession besides watching the movie a dozen times and reading and writing fanfiction and making fan art, it felt like the best way to get back into writing would be with this fanfic.**

**I have 100% intent of finishing it. My life recently went from fulfilling and busy to dreary, boring and depressing, so throwing myself into this project will be really good for me, I feel.**

**As you can see, each chapter will be named after a song. I've done this a few times in the past with my fanfictions, and this one, while not really going in theme with the words of the _song, _felt right. Anytime I write "Roxanne" in any context, this song pops up into my head, and the idea of her "putting on the red light," unintentionally slowing things down when she fully intended to do the opposite, fit the narrative.**

**I have also been obsessed with aliens as of late. I fully believe we are not alone in this universe. Whether or not they have visited us is ****debatable****, but ****there is**** just no way that in an infinite and ever expanding universe, ****_only us humans evolved to civilized sentience._**

**With that has come a lot of speculation and daydreaming about alien culture, so that's what influenced this "issue" between Megs and Roxanne.**

**Regardless, I just hope its enjoyed.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Marie**


	3. Chapter 3: Night Moves

_Attention!_

_Plenty of suggestive themes in this one. Best advise it as being 18+._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Night Moves**

**_"Ain't it funny how the night moves_**

**_When you just don't seem to have as much to lose_**

**_Strange how the night moves _**

**_With autumn closing in."_**

Did he, rub it on her back? Humans _love _getting back rubs, they carry so much tension there. Honestly, he did too, probably more than most thanks to his massive noggin.

But regardless of that, during sex scenes in movies, there was always some attention to the shoulders and spine. So, maybe the vibrator was for her back.

He gently grazed it across her spine, and she moaned lovingly into his ear. She nipped at his skin as she had done before, and she started to undo his dress shirt again as she leaned up and over him.

He tried not to indulge too much, lest he lose control and do something he may later regret, so he gently pushed her onto her side and ran the vibrator up to her neck.

She moved her lips onto his, but after a good minute or so of him doing nothing but rub the little blue toy in circles on her shoulders and neck, she began to wonder if he knew what he was doing.

She didn't want to embarrass him though, so she just slowly reached out and guided his hand down towards a more, sensitive area.

He caught on, somewhat, and rested it on the side of her stomach, to which she immediately tensed up and pulled back, giggling uncontrollably.

Megs found this highly amusing.

"Stop, stop!"

"Ah, you're ticklish!"

He pinned her down and forced the vibrator against her side again, causing her to squirm and squeal under him.

"Please, please stop!" she grinned ear to ear, trying her best to escape his grip, but he had her wrists wrapped within his grasp, and even though she was squirming from being tickled and not from having her brains fucked out, she was still immensely turned on by what had apparently become her boyfriend's entertainment.

He had to admit, watching her writhe and warp away from the toy he was holding to her side provided him with his own little dosage of heat. She was just a few laces away from being nude, and every time he brought himself to imagine that, well… He tried his best not to.

The power dynamic in this situation was pretty satisfying too. He liked feeling like he had control, it was a pretty rare feeling for him. And while he'd never overpower her menacingly, her giving her body to him was a _huge__ turn on._

He tried hiding the fact that his pants were getting tighter just from this little bit of playing alone, so he bit his lip and moved the vibrator over her stomach, more to the middle, and she made a quick move upwards, slipping it right down her panties.

She moaned long and hard, and he decided that he liked this sight even more than watching her squirm around in laughter.

He leaned down and kissed her, moving the vibrator around as his lips mirrored his hand in near symmetrical fashion.

She opened her lips and he slipped in his tongue, pulling away only when he felt her getting restless.

He looked down and realized she was taking off her underwear, slipping the lacy garment to the end of the bed as she moved his hand even further down.

The side of his wrist caught a touch of how wet she was, and he pulled away quickly.

"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

He inspected the patch of wetness on his wrist, "this, is from you?"

"Yeah, it's normal. It's because I'm turned on."

He gave her a slightly shocked expression, "from, me?"

"I told you I wanted you," she leaned forward and took his lips into hers again, grabbing at his neck a little forcefully and wishing he would just _fuck her already._

She pulled away, a shining thread of fluid trailing a short distance from her mouth to his, "taste it."

His heart jumped a bit for some reason, _she wanted him to lick- this? The wet stuff?_

He extended his tongue, and took the faintest touch of his wrist onto his tastebuds. It was tangy, and odd, yet, nice. Like the saliva when he kissed her, it felt uniquely her, and he liked it.

"Well?"

"I love it."

"You can have more." She grabbed at his neck and encouraged him downwards, but he protested.

"Not quite yet," he blushed and pulled away, "but, maybe this."

His fingers fluttered down, just on the top of her lips, and he wondered how exactly he should touch her down here.

He inserted one finger past her lips, and she moaned gently, mouth agape at his touch.

It might have not been quite as _exciting _as the vibrator, but it sure as hell felt a lot better.

Her hand grabbed at his wrist, teaching him the motions, introducing him into her warmth, giving him a tour of everything that made her arch her back in pleasure.

"G-go inside."

"Inside where?"

She jerked his finger down even further, and his eyes went wide, "oh, so that's where I would..."

"Yes!" Something he just did, whatever it was, seemed to be having quite the effect on her. She was heaving and gasping, begging for him to go harder.

And it seemed to be when he bent his finger just a bit, rubbing against the top of her insides.

"Oh, ah!" She moaned heavily, "please Megs, harder."

His index finger was getting tired, so he inserted a second finger, and pushed harder against her wall.

She was nearly screaming, all in pleasure, he hoped, because the show he was getting was igniting feelings within himself that he didn't even know he could feel. Why was he so hot just by pleasing her like this? He'd really have to read up on human sexuality later. For all his life being surrounded by humans, they were mostly men, so feminine bodily functions were a complete and utter mystery to him.

A mystery he definitely enjoyed solving so far.

"Do you like this?" He whispered through a heavy breath of his own, and she gasped _"yes"_ over and over, mindlessly.

But that was another thing, his breathing was increasing at an incredible rate, and he felt something low in his stomach, something incredibly pleasurable.

_Sex will probably be mindblowing if just this is enough to make him_-

"Oh no-" He jolted away quickly and tried to stop the feeling that was building up within him. He wasn't sure of what it was, but it felt too good to not have something to do with his bonding function.

"What is it?"

He bent over, looking almost in pain, his eyes shut tight and his hand on his stomach, "something feels, so good."

"Then feel good, don't fight it."

"No, you don't understand." He arched his back, and she had to admit, it was really fucking sexy. The way he was stifling moans, his teeth seething as he clenched them shut.

Finally, he let go, dropping to the bed in a wave of pleasure, "oh, Roxanne!" His chest heaved in and out, a climax reaching through him, like nothing he had ever felt before, gripping at his insides and shooting pleasure directly into them. He shook and groaned involuntarily as he came down.

Roxanne sat there watching him, mouth gaping open, eyes wide with surprise.

"You, did you just?"

"I, I'm not sure. Don't you have to, be stimulating that area for, _that _to happen?"

"I mean, hands-free orgasms can happen."

"_Orgasm. _My first one, and I wasn't even doing anything."

"Do you, feel, different about anything?"

"I feel like..." he trailed off, and looked up at her, "like, touching you."

"Then touch me, do whatever you feel, baby." She leaned over his panting body and kissed his lips tenderly, touching his face and guiding his hand to cup her breast.

She realized he was _still _wearing his dress shirt, so her next order of business was to pull it off of him immediately.

She couldn't stand another second without him being naked. That little show pushed her to the edge, and she was so, _so _ready to jump in.

Before either of them knew it, the pants were on the floor along with the shirt, and all that stood between his bare body and hers were a pair of_ pretty wet_ underwear.

She traced the length of his member, it was still hard as could be, much harder than before.

"Maybe we could just,"

"Yes?"

"Grind."

"What's, _grind?"_

"This," she pushed him down under her, touching her bare slit to him, rubbing her hips up and down, watching him clench underneath her in pleasure.

His mind was going wild, all he could think about was being inside of her, no matter the consequences. Maybe the bonding already happened, he didn't care, he just had an insatiable hunger, a need to be within her.

He shakily grabbed her arms, "I have a better idea," he smiled and gave her a rather evil look before tossing her to the side and pinning her down again, biting at her neck as he slipped himself out of his undergarment and thrust into her.

She yelped and her eyes went wide, the sensation was unlike any human partner she ever had before. Those bumps, which felt perfectly symmetrical on her hand, were now stimulating pleasure points she didn't even know she had.

He thrust again, and again, biting her neck harder and harder, and she was so overwhelmed with the feeling of her brains _quite literally being fucked out _that she didn't even realize the marks he was making.

She clawed at his back, twisting and turning from the sensations going through her right now, each moan he gave off caused a domino effect of pleasure on her, causing her to whimper into his ear, which in turn made him groan within a state he never had experienced before.

He felt that heat again, rushing towards his groin like a freight train, he quickened his pace and bit harder at his partner, until she tried to pull away from a sudden sharp pain where there was once a pleasurable tenderness.

He released and shot up, back arching as a second climax shot through his body. The mere sight coupled with a now tingling sensation in her neck and his still slightly pumping hips brought Roxanne to her edge as well, and all it took was one more tiny jolt to send her into her own climax.

Just as he was coming down, she started to ride it out, and watching her do so was the perfect conclusion to his first sexual experience.

With hearts pumping full of blood and bodies rushing with endorphins, the couple collapsed into the bed, chests rising and falling at a slower rate.

They intertwined their fingers, each feeling the desire to do so.

Megs looked over to his love, and she looked up at him, smiling gently, catching her breath.

"That was amazing, but, you bit me really hard."

He gasped in worry, "did I hurt you?"

"I know you didn't mean to," she giggled, "you were probably even more excited than I was."

She turned away to touch the mark and flinched at the pain, and Megamind opened his eyes wide at the sight of it.

"Dear God, what have I done," a big purple mark, the size of a tennis ball, laid upon her neck, an outer rim of crimson and a small dab of blood upon the pillow she was laying on revealed the damages even farther.

"Is it really that bad?" She got up out of the bed and rushed to her bathroom in worry.

She didn't even have to tilt her head before covering her mouth from the shock.

Megs got up and followed her, standing behind her and putting his hands on her shoulders, "it, it can be covered up, right?"

She turned to face him, nearly wanting to slap him, "Megs, I can't be seen on camera like this, why did you bite me so hard?!"

"I got carried away. I'm sorry," he pouted, and leaned his chin on her shoulder. She placed a hand to his cheek and kissed his temple.

"You didn't mean it, I know. But, next time, remind me to put a muzzle on you."

He raised up and lifted an eyebrow classically, "muzzles are for dogs. Bad dogs. And _I," _he placed a hand to his chest, "am a reformed gentleman."

She smiled cheekily and put a hand to his chest, backing him up against the wall, "_gentlemen _don't _maul _their _girlfriends_." She caught the slightest stain of blood upon his lip, something about the sight of it, and him not even realizing it was there, was incredibly sexy. Like a vampire.

Playing put aside for a moment, Megs looked into the mirror and frowned, "what if, I've bonded to you?"

Roxanne bit her lip, then turned to him reassuringly, "we'll just have to wait and see, and, whatever happens, we'll get through it."

Looking down, she made a quizzical face at a splatter of pink across the floor, "what is _that._"

Megs sighed and rubbed his neck, "I, suppose its not white like you're used to."

"That's your_ cum?_"

"Do you really have to say it like that?" He seemed highly embarrassed by the situation, everything about his first sexual experience was making him feel like a freak all over again. His genitalia wasn't normal, his climaxes weren't normal, he hurt her pretty badly without even realizing it, and now he has come face to face with his cum being _abnormal_.

"What does it taste like?"

"I don't, wait, what are you-" before he knew it, Roxanne was on the ground, between his legs, placing his oddly shaped member in her mouth, licking the tip like it was-

"Ice cream!"

"What?!"

"It tastes like ice cream, so sweet and creamy," just as she suspected, everything about it seemed normal enough for her. Just, it was bumpy. And violet. And tasted _way better _than a human.

A rosy pink tinted his features, and he leaned against the wall, eyes closing as he experienced yet another first of his tonight.

This sex thing was going to be pretty great, wasn't it?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you to my first reviewer! I have a lot of steam for this so far. So, you can expect consistent chapters for the foreseeable future.**

**Hopefully the sex wasn't too graphic for anybody. Honestly, I am more interested in fleshing out a story rather than focusing on sex. But, sex is nice too, so I wanted to try and exercise my skills in regards to sex scenes, as I'm really not too good with them.**

**Seeing as the song Night Moves is quite obviously about sex, and its one of my favorite songs ever, I decided to use it as the title for this chapter.**

**You might notice I use Megs rather than Megamind a lot. I honestly just prefer it, feels less like a title and more like a name. I see a lot of people come up with unique, alien sounding names for him, and I love that dose of creativity to the unofficial lore. Maybe if we ever get a second movie, we will get a birth name to put to that handsome face. Until then, I'm just sticking with Megs.**

**As an incredibly random side note, I nearly shortened it even further to just Meg, as it reminded me of a Disney crush of mine, Meg from Hercules. I may still do that, but I'll have to go back and change it. What do you think?**

**Until next time, peace!**

**-Marie**


	4. Chapter 4: My Kinda Lover

_Nothing crazy in this chapter, so no warnings!_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**My Kinda Lover**

_**"You got me runnin' baby,**_  
_**You give me somethin' way beyond revenue.**_  
_**You put the magic in me,**_  
_**I feel the magic when we do what we do."**_

Meg really wasn't used to waking up late. He typically woke up around 7am, on off days he'd wake up around 9, and he always went to bed late as well, as he was usually working on projects or conducting _mad evil experiments._

On average, he just needed less sleep than other people did.

But on this particular Saturday he was quite surprised to find himself waking up at 11am. Granted, he and Roxanne had been up having sex pretty much the entire night and well into the sunrise. It ended when Meg realized that his partner had fallen asleep under him, and he resentfully had to stop and give in to the rest that was about to overtake him anyways.

He still wasn't quite sure if the bonding had occurred or not. Maybe it was just a cultural thing, and not biological? Maybe he had misunderstood things?

He didn't love Roxanne that much differently, he felt closer to her, yes, but it wasn't like he had to be touching her constantly or anything.

He looked down and realized he was clutching her tightly to his chest as she slept. Maybe things_ had_ changed?

No, surely he'd be fine if he just-

Okay, he couldn't move.

His arm was under her, and it was dead asleep.

And he had to use the restroom.

But he didn't want to wake her up.

The ultimate test, risk a bladder infection by refusing to move until his love awoke? Or risk a grumpy Roxanne for the sake of his urinary tract?

It took him about two minutes to come to a conclusion.

He had to wake her up.

But, he couldn't let it know it was him, because otherwise, she might be mad at him.

He searched around for something that was within reach.

_Let's see, vibrator, smart phone, candle, lamp…_

_Idea!_

He grabbed the smart phone, he could set an alarm on it that sounds like a ringtone, so she'd think someone is calling and wake up.

_Passcode. Drat._

He began thinking of what her passcode could possibly be. Perhaps, the year they met?

_Nope. Too obvious. Anyone who knew they were dating would easily guess that._

Perhaps it was 8100, because that kinda looks like Bloo, which sounds like Blue, which is the color of his skin…

_No, that's ridiculous._

He wasn't the _center of her world, _what made him think the passcode would have anything to do with him?

Just because all of _his _passwords had to do with _her _that didn't mean it was the same with Roxanne.

He sighed before remembering that each number had three to four letters associated with it. He tried the initials of her news station.

_5267._

_Bingo._

_Figures _it would have something to do with her career. That's really not a safe pass code, he'd have to remind her of that later.

_If _he planned on telling her that he unlocked her phone without her permission, which he wasn't planning on doing.

He'd figure out how to weasel it into a conversation somehow.

He readied an alarm for exactly 1 minute from now, set it very loud, and left it on the side table.

Actually, just to be _sure _she'd hear it, he picked it up again to move it nearer to her face.

There, everything was set now. She'd wake up, think someone was calling her, realize its just a glitchy alarm, and fall back asleep. And in the meantime, Meg could go relieve himself.

_Buuuut, _all things considering, she'd probably know he had something to do with this, so maybe he should just-

As he leaned over her a second time to take the phone back and erase the alarm, she stirred and opened an eye up to see him.

"Goodmorning, Megs."

"Ah, good mor-"

_***Brrriiiing, Brriiing, BRIIIIINNGGG***_

"Jesus!"

"Oh would you look at that, your phone, did that, all on it's own!"

Roxanne grabbed the phone that just so happened to be right by her face, but before she could turn around and say "what the fuck," her boyfriend was already in the bathroom.

Saturday mornings were always rather exciting for Minion.

It was just one of two days that he and his Sir really spent together, _typically _there would be no evil plans on those days. Those were more of a week time gig.

But now, between the hero thing being round the clock, and Ms. Ritchi taking up all the time in-between, it was rare that they spent even a Saturday together, genuine time to engage in shared hobbies or talk.

This Saturday, though, Minion was excited once more, because Sir had said he cleared his entire day, and unless it was an emergency, they'd be free to do whatever the day brought to them.

But as he sit there, pancakes on the table, calling for Meg for the fifteenth time, he got the sneaky suspicion that he had never come home last night.

_And he didn't even bother to call._

He got up and waltzed over to Sir's chambers, opening the dual doors and looking around.

_Bed is still made, tux is still missing from the closet, Pajamas are lying on the bed, totally untouched._

Minion stuck out his lower row of teeth in anger.

"Well _FINE THEN." _He stomped away, clicking the dial button on his mech suit as he walked back to his lonely plate of pancakes.

"_You know, you could have CALLED!"_

Meg leaned up from his spot in Roxanne's arms to witness a call from Minion coming in on his watch, which was on the floor along with everything else he was wearing last night.

"_Sir! Why aren't you answering?! Where are you?!"_

"I'm right here! I'm fine! No need to worry!" He grabbed the watch and fastened it back in place, giving a _"one moment" _face to Roxanne as he crept from the bed and made his way towards the living room.

"Well thank the universe, because if you weren't dead, I was going to kill you."

"Don't be snippy with me, Minion, _I'm _the boss, remember?"

"Yeah but _I'm _supposed to take care of you. What happened last night? Why didn't you call and let me know you'd be gone?"

"I was, predisposed. I do apologize, I just-"

Minion gave a long and slightly exaggerated gasp, "you were having _SEX, _weren't you?!"

"Well now what gives you that idea?"

"Well for _one, _you're not denying it."

Meg rolled his eyes, "and so what if I _was."_

"Sir, you know what your species does when they have sex. It's no joking matter!"

Meg sighed, "Minion, I'm pretty sure that _bonding thing _you always told me about didn't even happen. I don't feel any different."

"Sir, from what I remember, you won't feel any different. But if Miss Ritchi decides she doesn't love you anymore, you'll die."

The blue man's eyes went wide, "what?"

"I _told you _to be careful, all those nights you spent alone with her, I mean, tell me you at _least _used a condom."

Meg went quiet.

"Sir! Safe sex! Have I taught you nothing these past 30 years of your life?!"

"Oh, she can't get pregnant from me, it's biologically impossible!"

"Well, tell me you at least didn't bite her."

Meg went quiet and scratched his chin, "oh, tell me that's not a thing."

"SIR!"

"Well what could happen!?"

"That's the marking, Sir! That's what causes the bonding!" Meg looked back to the room where Roxanne still laid, probably snoozing soundly, "now if _you _die, she'll die too!"

He felt a wave of pressure come across him, a shaking anxiety and a heavy heat in his spine. He ignored Minion's constant cries of "Sir, Sir are you still there," and instead realized just what kind of danger he had put Roxanne into.

His newfound career wasn't exactly _safe, _he knew he'd be risking death every day. Yes, he was more resilient than the average human, but one well placed bullet to the heart and he knew there would be very little that could be done to save his life.

But now, with every mission he took, he'd be indirectly risking her life as well.

Contemplating it over and over, he realized there was no going back. He raised the watch back to speaking range.

"Siiiiiirrrr, helllloooo?!"

"Minion, if I die, she dies too, correct?"

"Yes! That's what I've been _SAYING!"_

"Well then, I just have to try harder not to die is all."

"That is _not_ the point!"

"I will see you momentarily, Minion. Keep the pancakes hot for me."

Meg walked back into the room, a big, anxious smile on his face as he leaned over Roxanne's sleepy body.

"So, good news and very bad news."

She raised an eyebrow, "okay?"

"The good news is," he paused, and tapped his chin thoughtfully. He actually had no clue what the good news was.

He realized there probably wasn't any good news in this situation.

"Well?"

"Well, the good news is, there is only one _bad news, _and not, _more _bad news."

"What?"

"The bad news is, the bonding took place, not when I came, but, when I bit you."

"Okay,"

"Which means that when you die, I will also perish."

Roxanne looked sad at that, but, it really didn't seem like the _worst _thing, right? She wasn't planning on dying anytime soon, "but also, when I die, you die too."

"Wait, what?!"

"Minion just informed me. Oh, and I'll also die if you break up with me so, I hope you don't have anyone else in mind for the rest of your life."

Roxanne touched the purple bruise on the side of her neck, and realized that, while Meg was absolutely the love of her life, she was bound to him now, _forever._

And she hadn't even been dating him for more than a few months!

She really didn't know how she felt about that.

She leaned up in her bed, and held her legs to her chest.

"I'm guessing the same goes if you fall out of love with me then, right?"

"I can't say for sure, but, it would make sense."

"None of this makes sense, this is ridiculous," she turned away and looked out the window, "I really need some time alone today, okay? I love you, I just, need space. You won't die if I need space, right?"

Megs chuckled, shaking his head, "I was planning on taking off soon anyways, but, I understand." He picked up his dress shirt and began to change back into last nights outfit, keeping shy of the jacket for simplicity.

He leaned over and gave Roxanne a gentle kiss, which she did return.

"Last night was incredible," she reassured him, knowing that he was probably worried about his inexperience taking center stage.

"It really was. I'm sorry this has come of it."

She forced a smile, "there are worse things that could have come of it."

He frowned, "like what?"

"Well for one," she looked down in a memory, "you could have left right after to go home to your wife and kids."

"But I don't have a- ohhh."

"Yeah."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that with me. You just have to worry that I don't die."

She chuckled, "I do that already, every day."

"Well now you have more reason to."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He kissed her once more, "I love you."

Her heart fluttered, it felt really good to hear him say that, "I love you too."

Perhaps being eternally bound to an alien wouldn't be so bad after all.

Meg took the walk of shame back to the lair.

Passerby's all seemed to know exactly what he had been up to.

But he felt no shame, no. He felt joy. This wasn't a one night stand, this was love.

That being said, he really wished he hadn't misplaced the invisible car again.

On his way, he happened to pass by _The House, _and a familiar musician happened to be smoking a cigarette just outside.

"Blue dude!"

"Oh, Angel Mann, we meet again." He gave his classic smirk, and Angel chuckled.

"Can't believe you left last night, Laddy. I wasn't even halfway through my set."

"My girlfriend was quite jealous of your little serenade, so I had to take her back home and fuck her madly until she forgot about it."

Angel laughed heartily, and Meg felt proud that he could finally brag about a sex life.

The slightly taller blonde man shook his head and smiled, "lucky lady, I must say."

"If I may ask, why _did _you perform for me like that? It was both flattering and unnerving."

"I just have a lot of attraction for unique looking people. Figured I would try my chances with a different species, I've done it three times already."

Meg raised an eyebrow, "different species? Like, aliens? Like me?"

Angel shook his head, "well, not like you, but, alien, you could say."

"Oh. So like Metro Man. An alien who doesn't _look _like an alien."

"Hey man, we're all aliens. Planets weren't built for us, we evolved for _them._"

Meg didn't appreciate his hippie banter, not when the touchy subject of him being an alien was at stake, "nice sentiment, but I still don't fully comprehend. Are you saying you slept with other _humans_? Or are there other people like me on this planet?"

Angel took a deep breath in and placed a hand on Meg's shoulder, "Laddy, there's a lot you're going to discover one day, but, I can't be the one to show you all of it."

"Still not answering my-"

"But, if you want to open your mind, give me a call." Angel slipped him a jet black business card, thick and sleek and, wait, metal?

"A metal business card, what am I supposed to-" and just like that, Angel Mann was gone.

"Open my mind, _open my mind, _who does he think he is? If my mind was more open than it already is I'd be a hot air balloon."

Minion was hard at work, sweeping up the dust from a plate he smashed by accident just thirty seconds prior.

Well, _maybe _it wasn't by accident, and was more out of frustration, and wasn't just one plate, but five, and maybe he threw them against the wall and stomped on them while muffling about "better not be making me an uncle" and "she _really _better not break his little blue heart now" and maybe even something about "master was right about her being a temptress."

You could say he was a little perturbed by the situation.

"Olo, Minion, I am home!" Meg held out his arms, making his grand entrance, his tux jacket hanging loosely off his arm.

"Sir!" Minion was both excited to see him, and still incredibly angry at him.

"Just give me five minutes to change and I'll be right out."

Minion knew it wouldn't take him that long to get dressed, but still, seeing him disappear again made him sad inside.

Minion finished up cleaning the floor, then proceeded to reheat the pancakes, _again. _He was 90% sure they'd have the consistency of rubber now, so he threw them out and made a whole new batch.

Meg still was not finished _dressing, _if that's really what he was up to.

"Where is he _now?!_"

Minion barged into his room again, bottom lip sticking out and fins flapping wildly. Sir was leaning over his desk, working intently at something.

"Hi there minion, just oooneee sec-"

"PANCAKES. NOW!"

"Alright alright," Sir blew at his nails quickly before getting up from his seat and waving his hands about.

"Painting your nails? REALLY? When I had BREAKFAST waiting for you?!"

"I haven't done them in a while," Meg looked down at the black polish on his fingertips, it stuck out immensely well on his skin, "look, when you came in I messed up the left thumb."

"Oh _boo hoo, _I messed up five of my plates today because of you."

Meg rolled his eyes, "I don't see how that's _my fault."_

"You never do!" Minion flapped around, completely stressed out and frustrated. He took a deep breath and sat down at the table, fins calming down as he tried to relish in the_ one day _he and Sir got to spend together.

Meg rubbed his hands together before realizing his fingernails were still wet, and he may ruin them if he went to grab the syrup. He clapped his hands together and a little Brain Bot zipped over, tiny claw arm outstretched to pour it for him.

Minion rolled his eyes, "that's why I always tell you to do them _after _eating."

"Oh hush, Minion. Anyways, what did you do yesterday after I left for my date," he pointed to a plate and the Brain Bot began chopping down a piece of pancake to feed to him.

"I cleaned the entire lair for one, ummm, let's see. I made Chicken Marsala-"

"Ooooh!"

"-Don't get excited, there aren't any leftovers."

"Oh."

"I was doing a bit of stress eating last night when you hadn't called. And I didn't want to call _you _in case you were in the middle of something, which you _were,_" a little hatch opened above Minion's head and he dropped a small piece of pancake inside, ripping at it wildly.

Meg noticed the water looked pretty cloudy, he'd have to clean it for him today.

A blush was faintly painted upon his cheeks as he recalled the events of last night, "it was really pretty nice, you know."  
"I don't want to hear about it!"

"The way the moonlight danced upon her skin through the open window," Meg's eyes closed as he touched his cheeks in sweet remembrance, wishing he was back in her arms.

"I SAID-"

"Oh, and the bite. Apparently we discovered that for _some reason, _if I licked her bite right when I-"

"SIR! This is _not _appropriate dining table conversation!"

"Okay well, _also, _I stopped _another _robbery on the way to my date last night."

Minion looked at him from the side, "w-without me?"

Meg nodded, not in bragging, just proud of himself.

"It was simple, really. Their gun wasn't even real."

"Still, Sir, you have to be more careful. This is serious stuff you're doing now, and bad guys don't hold punches like Metro Man did."

"Ha! You act as if I wasn't a bad guy before."

Minion looked down, "I mean, you never hurt anyone."

Meg rolled his eyes, "you can be a bad guy without hurting people, Minion."

"Well forgive me Sir but, I really don't think you were ever that evil!"

"Nonsense! I've robbed banks, I've kidnapped my _own girlfriend _several times, I rejoiced over killing Metro Man!"

"Yes but you didn't actually kill him, you never intended to and you were 90% sure the plan would fail, you pretty much _always _gave the money back to the banks after you were finished gloating about it, and you always made sure Miss Ritchi was released, even if you got hauled off to prison after a battle. I'm pretty sure you only did it because you liked her anyways."

"Minion, I can't be _reformed _if I was never _evil, _and I am very reformed!"

Minion rolled his eyes, "all you are now is all you ever were, sir. You just don't put the mask on anymore," he nodded to his hands, "_or _the gloves."

Meg stared down at his fingertips, drenched with black, which he had done a lot. But he always, _always _covered them up with gloves.

He recalled the men on his planet wearing nail garnishes quite a bit, actually. It wasn't a taboo, it was cultural. The women did too, of course. It was a form of expression, like any other.

Also, he just so happened to really like his fingertips painted black.

But he didn't need anyone pointing that out and making fun of him for it, like they had in _school. _So he always covered them up.

He did quite a few things that one would consider _feminine, _actually. Eye makeups for one, especially eyeliner. Every now and then he'd commit to a highlighter or would contour his face. He just felt like it made him look more menacing, more _cool, _more alien, even, closer to his race.

And yes, out of sight of the public, he'd even slip on a pair of high heeled boots from time to time. He walked about in them like a _fucking_ king, and they always made him feel confident.

He had a way of taking _traditionally _feminine things and making them masculine, or at least, uniquely him.

But Metro City would never understand this side of him, not without needlessly questioning everything from his gender identity to his sexuality, so he, for the most part, kept it under wraps.

But now, he felt confident enough to, perhaps, show off this side of him. This side that was uniquely him and felt _oh so good _to indulge in.

"Minion, I know what we should do today."

"_-and LASTLY, _huh?" Meg didn't even really realize that Minion had been off on a rant, and he knew even less of what that rant was about.

"I want to go to the mall. In full garb."

Minion's eyes widened, he knew what _full garb _meant, "Sir! I, I really don't think that's such a good idea, what if people look at you funny?"

Meg raised an eyebrow, "do you really think I'm not used to it by now?"

"But the garb is different! Remember when Metro Man called you a, a," Minion searched for a nice way of saying _the word, _"a British Cigarette? You cried for the entire battle!"

"_Ha! High heels?! What kind of Villain are you? Some kind of Fa-"_

Meg physically brushed away the memory like a bad smell, "I'm far more comfortable in my skin now, besides, remember that _thing_ I've been wanting to get done?" Meg tugged at his ear excitedly.

Minion shook his head in fear, "Sir, you can't be serious."

The blue man got up from the table and began to walk towards a specific wall, one that prominently displayed a frame that featured a newspaper article about "Metro City's New Hero."

He lifted it off the wall, and two secret doors smoothly slid open to reveal a hallway _full _of boots.

"I'm more serious than you could ever imagine, Minion," he sighed and walked inside, searching through the black leather to find, ah, yes.

Black platform heeled boots, a row of spikes adorning the front.

He slid them on with glee, finally feeling confident enough to walk about in them.

Minion sighed, he liked that Sir was able to feel good about himself, but, he just worried that other people would be inconsiderate about it.

"If you really want to do it, Sir, then," Minion paused, and Meg looked to him hopefully, "I'll go start the car."

Meg fist bumped the air, admiring how high up his heels took him, how powerful he felt this high above the earth.

Today was going to be a _great _day.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**This is getting fun now!**

**As you can see, I'm now playing with the name Meg a lot. Just works better for me.**

**The whole Megamind wearing nailpolish and heeled boots thing actually ****occurred**** from a T-Shirt I recently made out of boredom, in which Meg is featured taking a selfie while wearing an Alien 51 shirt and I happened to add some black paint to his nails to see how it would look. It actually came out pretty fantastic! I impressed myself, as I often have trouble rendering 3D or real life characters as 2D drawings. You can probably check it on my Instagram, the_boys_comics if you're interested in seeing it, you can also see a statue I did of him.**

**Other than that, yeah, next chapter is going to be _the mall!_ Cue fun 80s music!**

**-Marie**


	5. Chapter 5: New Attitude

_ So this is a bit of a short one, but if you're interested in why, I've added an author's note at the bottom._

_Toodaloo!_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**New Attitude**

_"I'm in control_

_My worries are few_  
_'Cause I got love like I never knew_  
_Ooh oh ooo oh_

_I've got a new attitude!"_

"Sir, you know you don't have to do this."

"Nobody ever _has _to get their ears pierced, Minion," Meg shifted in the chair, trying to act as confident as he possibly could, heavy black eyeliner rimming his obviously nervous eyes.

A young blonde woman readied the piercing gun, and sighed, knowing this wouldn't be as easy as Meg was trying to act like it would be.

"Hold still," she said sweetly, rubbing his earlobe with an alcohol wipe.

He flinched away, "um, so, how many time have you done this before?"

She rolled her eyes, "many times, I've done it to little girls even, and they always sit nice and still."

Meg bit his black fingertip and slowly inched away, trying to keep calm, trying not to look at the little blue gun, trying not to think about the needle piercing his skin, or all the things that could go wrong during the 0.02 second procedure.

"Sir, you still don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I want it, Minion! I do, I just want to make sure she's qualified."

"I've had my license for years, I've been doing this since I was 18, so please, _sit still."_

Meg shifted into place, obeying her command, trying to hide the fact that his heart was pumping at a mile a second, crossing his legs so that nobody could see the shaking of his high heeled spiked boots.

_He looked like such a poser._ Black spiked color with matching wrist bands, a skin tight _Guns N' Roses Tee _clinging to his pounding chest, a dash of blue eye shadow grazing his nearly teary eyes.

_Yes, yes, such a badass, yet you can't even sit still to get your ears pierced._

"You know, on second thought, maybe we should-"

_***click***_

The blonde pulled away quickly before he could begin psyching himself up again. _One down, how many more did he want again?_

Oh yeah. _Six._

Meg was stone still, Minion's eyes widened in fear of what may happen next, would he freak out? Would he start crying? Would he threaten the lives of the blonde lady's future children?

"Sir, Sir? Everything okay?"

He blinked, "that was it?"

The blonde nodded.

"Oh. Well that wasn't so bad."

"Yeah, that's what I was trying to imply," she readied the gun again, "alright, five more to go."

"Oh god _WHY DID I ASK FOR SO MANY!"_

Despite the sweet blonde woman's instructions to keep his ears clean and not fiddle with the piercings too much, Meg couldn't stop touching them.

He was so proud of himself, flaunting them about, watching all the people who he was _sure _were checking him out, both men and women, he felt _fantastic._

"That really wasn't so bad! I wouldn't mind getting _everything _pierced!"

"Sir! Even your..." Minion pointed down.

"Of course, why not!"

"Because it will hurt!"

"Oh these didn't hurt," he tugged at his left earlobe, wincing a bit at the tenderness he had caused himself by constantly grabbing at it, "so why would the rest hurt?"

Minion rolled his eyes. He knew Sir wouldn't go through with anymore piercings, at least not for a while. He had been talking about getting his ears pierced since he was 15, and here they were 15 years later, actually getting it done.

There was something fantastic about the mall.

Even if you're not spending outrageous amounts of money on overpriced clothing and gadgets you don't need, you can still enjoy just walking about, flaunting an outfit you're proud of, sitting down with a friend while you drink a sweet freezing cup of Joe next to the Little Green Mermaid, or taking advantage of the free massage chairs at Brookstone.

Meg and Minion were just in the middle of one of those incredible massages, or at least, Meg was, as Minion had gotten bored of just vibrating around in his bowl while his mech suit got a massage, and had started playing with the Kinetic Sandbox in the corner, when suddenly, a familiar face popped in.

Entering the store like a cowboy into a saloon, Angel chuckled the moment he caught sight of the little blue man looking orgasmic in the oversized black leather chair.

He bit a lip and walked on behind the chair, leaning over, reaching a single finger to his closed shut eyelid.

"Is that how you sounded with your girlfriend last night?"

Meg screamed and punched upwards quickly, not realizing who it was or why they were touching him. He jumped out of the massage chair and turned around quickly, raising an eyebrow before laughing nervously.

"Angel! Wha-what are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you if I'm lucky," he rubbed at his chin, Meg had just missed it, only grazing his beard.

"Oh, sorry about that."

"No worries, suits me right," he was still wearing those bright pink sunglasses, but Meg could feel the guy wink at him.

Meg shook his head and rolled his eyes, not really wishing to be alone with the E.T. hungry musician, "Minion, come on over here!"

He waited until the mech suited fish strode on over, nearly taking the entire store with him as he made sure not to knock over any stands.

"Yes sir?"

"This is Angel Mann, he's a musician."

Minion looked confused, "uh, okay? Nice to meet you, Mister Angel… Mann… Sir..."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance as well..." Angel raised an eyebrow in thought, "...fish."

"You can just call me Minion, everyone does."

"Very nice. Well, my blue friend, you are looking rather flamboyant today."

"Flamboyant?" Meg's cheeks turned pink, he started to feel a touch of embarrassment at his getup. Maybe going out in full-garb was indeed a bad idea.

"Yeah. Fits you." The comment seemed, unexpected.

"You, you don't think I look, stupid?"

"Of course not. You look hip."

Meg was almost certain he was just saying that to get his hands in his pants, but the reassurance still felt good.

"Hip? Cool?"

"Yes, _cool._" Angel put his hands in his crisp white pockets and turned slightly towards the door, "Anyhow, I only wanted to pop in and say _hi._ I've got some business to attend to today. I'll see you around though." He began to walk away, turning quickly over his shoulder to add, "and don't forget about that card I gave you."

The moment cooled for a few seconds before Minion achieved a questioning look, "Sir, what was that about?"

His master took a breath and sighed, "I don't know Minion. I met that fellow last night at the bar with Roxanne, he was acting very funny towards me, and I can't shake the feeling that there's something up with him."

"What card was he talking about."

Meg checked his pocket, only to remember that the card was back at the lair in his dress pants from the night before, "it was a little metal business card. He told me to call him when I wanted to _open my mind._"

Minion stuck out his jaw, "probably… a drug dealer?"

Meg straightened up, "he's so elegant for a drug dealer though, wouldn't you say?"

The fish shrugged, then gently nudged him, "hey! What if we do some _sleuthing?_ Huh? Go on a little mission, figure out what the deal is with him?"

The alien's eyes opened wide, "yes, that could work! First, we'll need to go back home and see if there's an address on the card, if not, we could-"

_**vrvvv vrrvvv**_

Meg patted his pocket again, this time sensing a vibration.

Minion scowled, _it was probably Ms._

"Roxanne! My love, how are you on this beautiful Saturday afternoon?" He walked away from the fish, his eyes lightened up like a Christmas tree and his smile a mile wide from the tender voice of his love.

It was nice to see Sir so happy. But it was also extremely obnoxious.

Minion walked back over to the kinetic sandbox, the pretty blue clay-like substance reminding him of Sir.

He looked over his shoulder, Sir was pink as a rose, gushing over something Ms. Ritchi had just told him.

Then he was giggling. Then he fell back into a chair, then he accidentally knocked over a stand.

And before he knew it, they were running away from an angry store manager who was chasing them with a rolled up newspaper.

And Sir was _still _on the phone with Ms. Ritchi!

The fish watched on in irritation as Sir spun around a lampost in the parking lot, _still _on the phone, mind you, _still _gushing like a kid in a candy store, and now singing along to a song that was playing faintly in the background over a set of rusty outdoor speakers.

"-_dancing in the moonlight, _but only with you, Roxanne."

"Sir!"

"Minion, I am on the phone."

"You've been on the phone for an hour now!"

"Oh, you know I'm usually on the phone much longer than an _hour _Minion."

Minion reached over and plucked the device from his fingertips, "Ms. Ritchi, we have to go now, we have very important business to attend to."

"That's fine, does Meg still want me to come over tonight?"

"YOU INVITED HER OVER?"

Meg nodded, his heart too aflutter to be upset about the phone.

"I'll see you tonight, Minion!" Roxanne said happily before the phone hung up.

Tiny fish eyes set to scowl, Minion stared down the blue fellow, "you said today was our day!"

"It still is, Minion! Roxanne won't be over until 8PM. We still have many hours to-" Meg stared off blankly, his train of thought ending unexpectedly, "-uh, be rambunctious."

"I don't want to be rambunctious, I want us to _sleuth!"_

"That's the word! _Sleuth! _Now, lets get back to the lair."

Minion had a quite strong feeling that they wouldn't be doing as much _sleuthing _as Meg attempted to insinuate.

_Another Saturday ruined by young dumb love._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**So, happy birthday to me! I'm officially 23, and I was preoccupied this last weekend with preparations for my Megamind themed birthday party. It was a blast, I had a blueberry cake with marshmallow fondant that was shaped like Meg's helmet from school, it was fantastic. Took up a lot of my time though, which is why my consistent little schedule took a sudden nose dive.**

**Secondly, I've started a new comic about a bisexual alien and his angel roommate. It's called, obviously, Angel and the Alien. It will be a series, and I'm working on Issue 1 as we speak. It, along with school and work, has taken up a lot of my time, so my chapters here will be a little more spaced out as we go on.**

**I still do want to finish this though, I'm just not 100% sure on where I'm going with it yet.**

**Thanks to all readers! Love you!**

**-Marie**


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